| |
|
|
|
| |
|
 |
 |
| |
|
I sometimes have nightmares of having my tongue
stuck to a metal pole in the winter while elves shoot icicles
at me. Oh wait that's not a nightmare - that really happens to
me every single day I live. Oh my god OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!! HELP
HELPP!!!!!! HERE THEY COME!!! THEY'RE SHOOTING ICICLES!!! HELLPPP
HEELLLLLLPPPP!!!!! |
|
|
 |
 |
|
I could eat all of Antarctica if they let me. But, I have to
embrace the idea of portion control, like the French. |
|
|
 |
 |
| (read
in cat voice) Meow, the cold snow makes me shiver. Let me in or
I will freeze. The rest of the litter is frozen. Oh no, too late.
Now we're all so frozen and all so un-alive like and unable to go
meow meow. My poor paws. Oh my. |
| |
|
 |
 |
| I
don't normally smile like this, but I had a snowy dream last night.
A handsome snowman with a beautiful glistening bright orange carrot
and the two darkest blackest pieces of coal for eyes came and whisked
me away. |
|
|
| |
|
 |
 |
| |
|
Grey
is my first favorite color and pink is my second favorite color.
Did I forget to mention that I'm really hardcore about rationalizing
snow fall? People are always really impressed by that. |
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
| I
hope you don't think that I'm dangerous. Because I am. I can make
snow in two minutes. The snow is really strong. |
|
|
 |
 |
| Some
people say I have a snow-attitude, and I say "what are you talking
about? Watch out, I have to barf snow on you. |
|
|
 |
 |
| Here's
a fact about myself: I can throw a snowball 2000 feet. |
|
|
 |
 |
| I'm
responsible for Siberias blessing. Don't look at me, or I will cover
your village with shredded Aztec famine. |
|
|
 |
 |
|
I think summer is the best time of the year. However, my horoscope
tells me that snow weather is when I shovel best. My horoscope
also told me that I'm probably one the smartest people I know.
I think that's a really positive aspect or element of my personality. |
|
|
 |
 |
| Well
actually my name used to be Jimmy - Jimmy Icicles, but then I got
to High School and for some reason all my friends stopped calling
me Jimmy and started calling me Test. I don't get it. Is it because
I got a D on the math test? |
|
|
 |
 |
| I
was Santa Clauses number one guy, if you know what I mean (wink,
wink). I put more elves at the bottom of Ant Arctica than that angry
walrus down the block. Santa always kept my sock coal free. Then
one day the feds came a knockin askin bout Little Tommy the Toy
Truck Maker. Well the next thing ya know santa's in federal court
saving his big red derriere and I'm out on the streets. Everybody
hates me - santa, the elves, Rudolph, the feds. I just need some
o that ole Christmas cheer aka a tall glass of eggnog with some
nutmeg on the top. (wink wink) |
| |
|
|
|
| |
|
 |
 |
| a.
I'm not scared of anything. I come from white lightning. This is
very serious. Rarrrrrr! I'm the ultimate ruby, like the diamond
in the rough, except a ruby in an avalanche. All you can eat snow
buffet? I'm going back for a third helping! Talk to you later chump. |
| |
|
|
|
| |
|
 |
 |
| I
escaped the elve village and I told Santa that I want more in my
life. So here I am, joining up with hopefully changing the world. |
| |
|
|
|
| |
|
 |
 |
| Dark
ski mask on the outside, red knit hat with puffy ball and matching
mittens on the inside. |
| |
|
|
|
| |
|
 |
 |
| Don't
worry mom, santa clause went through this phase too. |
